a muse: Traveling Through

Reverb10 – Traveling through the defining moments of 2010

Hours away from popping the cork of a new year, I find myself quite grateful and relieved to have made it through this waning one. The days of 2010 have offered me more challenges and tests than I knew possible, but I'm still here. I sit here a bit dazed and sore from my travels through its tangles. That said, I'm very thankful to be able to leave it behind and carry the lessons it offered forward.

Just 365 days ago, my love and I were surrounded by boxes and the detritus of a move. We put down the box cutter and stopped to celebrate just as the city began a fireworks display to welcome us to our new home and a new year. Standing at the cold glass of our living room windows, we looked out and vowed to do things differently this year. 2010 heard us. It took that promise seriously and held us to our words.

The curve balls were thrown our way quickly and in rapid succession. Trouble at work, sick family members, spiteful cat urination, bacterial infections, a disappointing baseball season, increasing debt, 3rd degree burns, life flighted friends, too many funerals, the evils of dementia. Tears were shed, words were shouted, friends were lost and scars have formed. Still, we are here and have much to celebrate.

Looking back at the days of this year, I've found great joy in the glimpses of beauty that were previously hidden in these dark moments. Memories of a broken hearted man singing softly into the ear of my aunt amid the florescent, dehumanizing ugliness of a hospital's psych ward. Children playing basketball outside their home, while just inside the patio doors their parents cried. Missing the light that a dear friend brought to the world, I cherish fact that she died inside the church she loved discussing costumes she was designing for an upcoming play. In the grace and strength of these moments, I've learned so much about the person I want to be and the life that I want to live.

Tonight as gaudily lit globes drop from the sky all over the east coast, we will stand together at the same window and watch the fireworks fly above our city's skyline. We will raise our glasses to toast each other and these wonderfully imperfect lives we have.

I wish you a year filled with joy and all of the things you are searching for. I am deeply grateful that you are joining me here in this journey. Happy new year!