Community

Reverb 10 - December 7 - Community

I finally admitted during this year that I have failed as a family member.  I've become a neglectful daughter and a distant, if not completely invisible, part of my original family. Some days I question the choices that have contributed to my shortfalls and self preserving betrayals.  On others, I know that I am doing the best I can and allow myself to continue plodding along.  Still, I carry with me the knowledge that many people are being hurt by these choices. I know there are those who love me who don't understand why I'm not there with them. I hope that one day I'll find the words to explain this to them and to myself.

Walking away from much of the world that I've known since birth, left me feeling alone and a little lost. Unhappy at work, I knew I was preparing to leave that safety net and step into the unknown. Afraid the walls of my self imposed isolation were closing in too tightly around me, I reached outside of them.  Turning to various social media outlets, I jumped in offering strangers a mostly uncensored view of my world.

I began tweeting much more regularly. I stumbled my way into this mysterious world of 140 characters, retweets, and mini links.  I quickly fell in love. There were people like me out there and they were responding to my messages in a bottle. I met others who have Celiac Disease and live gluten free; bonded with Braves fans during another roller coaster season; learned about art from friends across many borders; and shared words with writers who amaze me. They quickly became my friends. In the beginning, the phrase "tweet up" made me laugh. I've since met dozens of my Twitter friends in real life and have grown increasingly thankful for this community.

You are the people that have saved me this year.  Pulled me out of dark moments when I was questioning everything about who I was and what I had to give this world. You sent messages that  brought me laughs during long waits in doctor's offices.  Your words bridged my connection to other people that I needed to have in my life. I could easily write a love letter to each of you.  There are many things I treasure about you and what you bring to this world that we share.

Next year, I will continue on this new road of learning how to be a friend.  I will open further and share more work with this incredibly supportive community that has so warmly embraced me. The part of me that used to serve the world has been idle and is yearning to get involved again. I will also find a community for it to join in the months that lie before me.